friends

Last week an assignment on speech was given to me. The assignment was based on famous speakers . I noticed that some of the speaker do gave some motivational and demotivational  and this portrays that sometime we choose to have  selective hearing.  I choose to have selective hearing because, most of the things is comman sense and we would already knew about it. 
We always hope that our professors will be good speakers who can keep our interest for at least the length of a class period, but more often than not, we’ll have a teacher or two each semester who drones on and on and doesn’t make us feel passionate about the subject.
The things that makes me become an active listener is because famous people can share with others some valuable secrets of a successful lifestyle. As a rule, celebrities who have gained popularity had a lot to go through. Even though people might have a lot of theoretical knowledge about how to be successful, they would definitely need a real-life example to make sure that all they know or have heard has already been tried by others. Usually famous people are becoming those models due to their successful experience. For example, a famous designer, Coco Chanel, who revolutionized the aspect of women's fashion, starting her career as a shop-owner and after a while succeeding as one of the most influential designers in the world, might be a good model to follow on this point.

juliana johan :)

being an active listener n selective hearing

Last week an assignment on speech was given to me. The assignment was based on famous speakers . I noticed that some of the speaker do gave some motivational and demotivational  and this portrays that sometime we choose to have  selective hearing.  I choose to have selective hearing because, most of the things is common sense and we would already knew about it.  

We always hope that our professors will be good speakers who can keep our interest for at least the length of a class period, but more often than not, we’ll have a teacher or two each semester who drones on and on and doesn’t make us feel passionate about the subject.

The things that makes me become an active listener is because famous people can share with others some valuable secrets of a successful lifestyle. As a rule, celebrities who have gained popularity had a lot to go through. Even though people might have a lot of theoretical knowledge about how to be successful, they would definitely need a real-life example to make sure that all they know or have heard has already been tried by others. Usually famous people are becoming those models due to their successful experience. For example, a famous designer, Coco Chanel, who revolutionized the aspect of women's fashion, starting her career as a shop-owner and after a while succeeding as one of the most influential designers in the world, might be a good model to follow on this point.

juliana johan :)

Chapter 6 Friendship

hi bloggers...

I hope you all are having a nice day.

Friendship... Everybody are well aware of how important friends are and friendship have a deep meaning in human live. A friend can be short or tall, slim or fat, fair skinned or dark skinned, a guy or a girl but as long as they are loving, have a pleasant smile and make people around them to be happy, they are friends,am I right? Maybe... For me a friend is someone who is trustable, understanding and someone who can be rely upon during difficulties for emotional support and encouragement in life.

Have anyone heard the saying, show me your friend and I will tell who you are.. To some extent this is true as all of us are being judged all the time.. Always we should ensure our friends are uplifting us in our life and not the kind of friends that drain our energy in a negative way... We are lucky if we have been blessed with friends who brings the positivity from us and open the gate of opportunity for us. Of course we always have our tough time with our friend but how are we going to face it and strengthen our relationship with friends.

As all of us know we are not brought up in the same way as our friends are. We are always different as our values and cultures are not the same but that is the uniqueness of everybody or not sure the world will be a boring place to stay if everyone is similar. Out of differentiation only we can find ideas and learn from each other what is good or bad.

Ok lets come to the rational part, its not what your friends had did to you but as a friend what role had you play. There is a situation in your life right now where you would sit and think what can I do to uplift my friends life. Have I spoiled any of my relation with my friends in the past.. Have I forgiven them or do I still keep the grudge in the heart.. Remember life is temporary and perhaps we meet everyone for a reason. So lets forgive and forget and be friends with everybody to express our self as a friendly people.. Good night

From:
Phemilla

It's not what you say, It's how you say it!

Good evening bloggers,

Have you ever wondered what made movies so appealing? Well I've been thinking about it lately as I've had to cut down on my movie marathons, it led me to question why I miss them so much.

It all can be related back to non-verbal communication, they have these story lines that keep us hooked but what keeps us entertained is the actors no doubt.  Acting is a very difficult art and takes great skill and talent.  Their job is to make us believe the character they are playing from every direction by portraying exactly what humans do in real life which is listen, look and react.

Non-verbal communication probably covers about 90% of the impact of your message because what you say on it's own has little meaning over how you say it.  In the same way when we're mad and arguing if we didn't use non-verbal communication to express our feelings a person wouldn't actually know how mad we are.  Some people wave their hands in anger or kick a chair, with some all it takes is a look.  Face expressions actually play a lot in communication, and this reminds me of a series I used to watch called Lie To Me.  The main character is Dr Cal. Lightman, an amazing psychologist who specializes in analyzing body language and predominantly micro-expressions.  He's usually hired for investigations because he's able to read people perfectly so they get him to talk to victims, suspects and witnesses to expose the truth behind lies.  I love watching it because I'm really bad at reading people because I always see the good in people so I can never recognize when I'm being lied to so people are always getting away with it.  Anyways here's the trailer of Lie To Me in-case your interested in checking it out:

I tend to let my communication skills down, I don't know why but I always tend to hold back, it's like I'm trying to give an impressions of someone else, who the person I'm talking to wants me to be.  I always tend to be polite, well mannered, not too out spoken and sometimes when I'm talking I may come across as not sincere enough or give mixed signals because my words give one message but non-verbal I'm giving a completely different one.  Like when my boyfriend gets me the wrong type of juice or picks a movie I really hate, I usually say "Thanks baby" with a forced smile but he can always read the real me and know I'm not being 100% honest.  I guess I just don't like fuss and try to avoid problems but it's not healthy and I usually just end up being misunderstood, just remember it's always better to be true to yourself

We can all work on our non-verbal communication to help us and the receiver by giving the right message so they get the right message, after all they do say actions speak louder than words.

From Sarah with love x

The magic of touch.

Halo bloggers,


hope you all have a wonderful day.

Touching? Well, I am sure everyone have their own opinion about touching. As human all of us love to have a nurturing, affectionate human relationship but what causes us human to abondon the precious gift of touch. Are we the product of strict environment where touch is restricted in the name of culture, religion or moral? It is proven that babies who are touched more grow healthier physically and have higher IQ and EQ level. Oh, not to forgot, even animals can feel the love of touch and feel pampered. Just look at your cute cat or dog at home, they will respond lovingly when we human stroke and caress them gently. Pets are even closer to the members of the family who always touch them affectionately compared with those who are strict with pets.

Let's not forget, hugging can get rid of many diseases and will give an overall health benefit such as emotionally fulfilled and have better human relationship. Lack of touching also causes a person to be more selfish, unforgiving and gets angry easily. Besides, touching it's also important in relationship especially in marriage. Woman would feel more loved,caring and her oxytocin hormone, a hormone that is responsible for feel good and happiness increases when her partner hug her affectionately. Thus, touching could always gives a spark back into a relationship. Somehow, touching is also one way of communicating. The way you touch will leaves a different kind of impressions and feelings. Especially when someone is sad in sorrow, a sense of touch could comfort a person to feel calm. From my opinion, every touch should comes with a sense of respect with love. But, be careful of where you touch, and who you touch, that matters too. 

So, I guess we all need to value how special we are as a human. Think about it, how can touch offers so much beneficial things in life but we tend to avoid the importance of it? And how can we forget to celebrate humanities through touch? Hmmm..maybe a married couple is a perfect candidate to explore this further. ;)

Till then,
Phemilla

Effective listening.

Lingua franca.

Dear readers, stay out of the rain!

It's been raining a lot lately. I kinda missed the sunshine. :( Never mind, it takes a little rain for a sun shiny day. ;) Well, have you heard of 'bahasa' before? It means language in Malay. Yeah, that's what we're gonna talk about here. Language is used as a daily basis communication. Have you tried counting how many words used in a day? I bet you haven't, coz it's uncounted, isn't it? So, don't you think language is important our daily life? Every single words spoken has a meaning. If one word is wrongly used, the meaning of a statement could be completely wrong. 

In a relationship, when u say "Let's take a break", the word 'break' could mean taking a holiday for a moment away then get back together again later. Or, it could be putting a full-stop to it. Scarryyy!!! *based on true story of my own puppy love.hehehe

Imagine how many languages are there in this world and, how many that you know? Countries like France or Spain, they prefer to speak their mother-tongue. Yes, English is the language of the world, but if you go to France, not all of them could speak English. It's not necessary to learn varieties of language, yet it's a bonus. After all, master ur own mother-tongue first. Common sense huh. hehe. Don't take it lightly, ur own language is one precious symbol of your culture, which defines your ethnicity. Do you know how I learned English? Tadaaa!!

1. I speaks confidently at home, even if it sounds wrong, n I take everyone as my language teacher. ;)
2. I read a lot, n I grew up with 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'. *my all-time favorite book. wuhooo!
3. I sing to English songs, and going through the lyrics touches me deep when I sing. lalalaaaa..
4. Dictionary is my buddy. And movie's subtitles too!
5. I've started all the above since I was young, singing the primary rhymes, until now, it's a never ending learning.

I learned some words of other languages too. Like Tamil, Indonesian, Arabic, Mandarin, a little bit of French and Russian from my friends. It's one way of involving in their culture and I felt involved. Superb! Try it! 

Hakuna matata! ;D

With love,

Nadia Azman

Attribution errors.

We all have attribution errors.

You must be wondering, "Attribution errors? Heck no!"

Have you thought about all those times when you blamed someone for your mistakes or failures?

I have.

During my secondary school years, I had this teacher who criticized me for everything I did; my homework,  the way I wore my uniform, and other things.When she gave us back our test results, I got pretty low marks for the test. When I compared my friend's paper to mine, she asked me how come I got such low marks for it. And I simply replied her,"The teacher doesn't like me. Don't you know that? But you got an A, which means she prefers you more compared to me," and she was shocked because the teacher pretty much gave everyone the same treatment.

In Interpersonal Communication, this is known as fundamental attribution error. And it is often related to those who attribute the successes of others to the situation and failures of others to themselves. In this case, I was the one who had experienced this.

Do you experience this, too?

Till then,
Eva :)

Ocean of Perception

Hello readers!

Hoping for a great day today, we shall go out and enjoy the sunshine, rather than dancing in the moonlight. ;) It's just a friendly reminder to us all, no offense. hehehe. Well, of what I said earlier, what crossed your mind? Some might think I'm trying hard to make this interesting, or, some might say I'm just cute like that. ;) Your interpretation of my behavior in this blog will determine your perception on me. Even if it's just through writing. Anyway, you could be true or completely odd. Why? I think people mostly interpret a person wrongly when they are stereotyping. Let's see, other factor like first impression could change. Although first impression is important, yet there's always second, third or fourth. (funny huh? :p) What I'm trying to say is, first impression would not contribute that much in interpreting perception as you go on knowing that person better. Unlike stereotyping.

I went for Thaipusam at Batu Caves on Tuesday, 7th February 2012. All this while, I only have a rough idea of what Thaipusam is. I've always wanted to experience all kinds of culture coz to me, traditional culture is purely unique. So this year, I give it a try. I reached Batu Caves around 9am with my friend. He's a Hindu, so he went with a sole purpose to pray. While me, I went simply to experience Thaipusam. (apart from accompanying him of course. *winkwink!) It's such a pleasure to be part of them that day. I've made it through all the way up in a big crowd. With a mindset to explore and see their culture closely, I enjoy walking and I found that their culture and religion is as holly as others too. I respect how they worship. All of this might be different if I'm stereotyping it in a negative manner. I don't think I would even want to pass by Batu Caves.haha. Worst, I might be racist, triggered by stereotyping with a certain typical mindset on them. Well, it could also stop me from giving it a try to get to know it deeper. See, isn't stereotype plays a big role in interpreting perception? It hinder the way people think. You may not realized when you are stereotyping. But there's a thing called open-minded, maybe you should try that. ;)

With love,
Nadia Azman.

It's a jungle out there!....literally :P

Good evening fellow bloggers!

Chinese New Year is a time where families spend time together and create unforgettable memories to always have to look back on.  It's times like these when foreign students really miss their homes not to mention their families. 

It's hard enough being away from home without being reminding of it. You have to be independent because if you don't look after yourself who else will? Being independent (as an adjective) can be defined as: 

1.not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself: an independent thinker.

2.not subject to another's authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free: an independent businessman.

3.not influenced by the thought or action of others: independent research. 

4.not dependent; not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc.

5.not relying on another or others for aid or support. 

Most of these apart from definition '2.' and financial support can be used to define a foreign student's way of life. I recently left my home in England to come study Psychology at Segi University College in Malaysia and it has been one tough transition to say the least.  Some days I wake up and can't believe I'm in Malaysia out of all places in the world, it's funny, before I moved here I couldn't even tell you where Malaysia was on the map!  It's always hard become a student but especially harder when it's out of the comfort of your own home.  Although I am now a mature student coming up to my 23rd birthday, and I have been in and out of education and work for the past 7 years, this does not mean I find it any easier coping with the adversities that one faces when living alone. 

However I am undoubtedly grateful for the endless life experience it has taught me and I would not be here today without it.  Through the years I've experienced my perceptual constancy change so much, I've learnt to question things and not just accept what I see.  Looking back I used to be so stubborn so set in my old way but now with a little patience I have much more understanding and have become open to more things, people, ideas and the list goes on.  This with time has helped me develop into the person I am today and my self-esteem has never been at its highest because I know that anything is possible and it starts with oneself so we can always be in control of our lives and guide our futures to our dreams.

Personally I think it's the little things that make you miss home the most, whether its the way your mum used to make your favourite breakfast or that random chat you would have in the car with your dad while he's giving you a lift home. Sometimes it would be nice just to come home and have someone ask you how your day was :( .  It's funny but whenever I think about home I always seem to only remember the good and never the bad, I guess sub-conscientiously I keep using selective retention to reinforce how great and amazing it was living back home.  Not once do I sit and recall how I used to argue with my family and storm up to my room in tears or how on a cold, crispy winters morning I'd hate having to get out of bed because of the snow waiting outside to freeze my ears off. 

Living in Malaysia was like living in a whole different universe, I found things so odd when I first arrived.  People kept saying "la" at the end of their speech like "Yes laa", "No laa" etc.   Soon I realized this was just a cultural thing and soon enough I began saying it myself, I know it may sound silly but I think it helps enforce communication between myself and the society here so conversations feel more natural.  However one think I dislike here is how much I get stereotyped!  I really do hate how people assume on first impression that I'm Nigerian or a dangerous African just because of the colour of my skin.  Most people don't even give you a chance and just make up their mind based on your looks which is completely ridiculous if you ask me.  I understand that Nigerians are pretty infamous here for their know violence and criminal activities but that doesn't mean every black person that comes here is Nigerian nor that they behave negatively.  I'm British-Sudanese and for once I wish strangers would try and find that out instead of stereotyping, even my own neighbour hates me without even knowing me, she always gives me negative looks whenever I am entering or leaving my house even though I always try my best to smile and give a welcoming impression with a gestural wave or a kind "Hello".  However I know myself and I know I am and who I'm not, I don't need anyone to assure me that I'm a decent person because I'm confident in my up-bringing and my character, all I want is just not to be judged.


My time in Malaysia has taught me an awful lot, regardless to the downs there's always an upside to things!  Malaysia as it has been said IS truly Asia! Before arriving here I wrongly assumed I would only see Malaysians but I was wrong! Deadly wrong! Malaysia is inhabited mostly by Malaysians, Chinese and Indians but there many other ethnic groups here like for example Thais, Javanese, Japanese, the list is endless without even stating all the non-Asian ethnicities! Matching its multi-ethnic population the country is also extremely multi-cultural with its population practising Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Taoism etc.


I've been privileged to meet and get to know all these different types of people without even having to travel around Asia.  I have experienced all kinds of diverse celebrations ranging from Deepvali to Chinese New years.  I even had my name in-scripted in the ancient art of calligraphy a few days ago.
 

If you're ever looking to do some travelling and experience other cultures, I would strongly advise you to pop down to Malaysia and have a truly memorable time!


Well that's all from me for now, until next time take care and stay safe.


From Sarah with love x

 

Oh, hi!

We talk, a lot. Not physically, but mentally. Often, we do that when we make choices such as waking up in the morning and questioning ourselves the very first question; Should I bath first, or brush my teeth? I'm feeling a little hungry. Of course, we mentally discuss it and make the decisions and start doing whichever activity we desire first.

Back early last year, my father had decided to get me a baby tortoise as a present for my SPM results, and I took her in as I was an animal person. When I first saw her, I mentally debated with myself the biggest question, "What should she be named?"

I eventually called her Izzie.

When I first saw her, I was afraid to touch her because she was moving all over the place and upturning everything in her glass box. But eventually I mustered up my courage and carried her out of her comfort zone...to the ground.

Fast forward to four months later, Izzie suddenly stopped becoming her perky self, and started to eat lesser as well as moving lesser. That was when I started debating with myself.
"Should I bring her to the vet? She's not looking too well."
"But she's walking around normally. Is that a good sign? I hope so."
"She's sleeping too much. That's not good, right? Please say it's normal for a tortoise to sleep the entire day and wake up just to eat."

One night when I was busy preparing for my presentation, I noticed that Izzie had stopped moving as much as she used to last time. I gently picked her up, and she felt cold. Panicking, I placed her under the light, hoping that she would revive. But morning came, and she had passed on by then. The emotional side of me said, "she was too young to go," but the realistic side said, "it was her time." It was as though I was comforting myself

During my first lesson in my Interpersonal Communication class, I learnt that when we communicate with ourselves, it was actually normal because we had to think of questions to ask our neighbors in a class activity, and that talking with ourselves was actually called intrapersonal communication, which is the process of using messages to generate meaning within self, and that it usually occurs in our own minds.

All in all, we do communicate within ourselves, whether we admit it or not. Don't believe me? Try stepping into a mamak stall and see what thoughts would arise in you. Would you want a teh tarik, or something else stronger? ;) and maybe a roti telur to go along with it? Aha. You be the judge, and you'll be communicating with yourself again!

Till then,
Eva :)